DAMN.. something's wrong with me. cried two times in class today??!!(most of u might only know once)Now feeling so ashamed, disgusted and undignified?? but this morning and early afternoon was really frustrating and fan can? NOTE: NO OFFENCES IN WHATEVER I AM GOING TO SAY.. NAH, JUST LET ME COMPLAIN FOR ONCE.
first thing was abt the esad(english speech and drama) shirt ba. not enough paint, difficult to paint, no one's helping, no paintbrush, not enough time and watever shit lah.. but since i was in quite a good mood in the morning, i dont give it a damn. worked quite well with ben, ivy etc later, but was irritated by someone again. better dont mentioned her name, or she will complain to miss han. anyway, she's mich****..all worked quite well later before recess lah.
the peroid after recess simply SUCKS. time's running out, but we got like S, U, A, N, G, I etc haven't paint yet. Ivy wanted ppl to help, so i just screamed my lungs out loh. but, no one listened loh. still playing, laughing loudly. quite frustrated, but somehow used to it liao. then ppl were complaining abt the smell and watever shit. damned angry and frustrated, going to erupt liao. harmony?? i puked. then tears just burst out when i was outside the toilet working loh. i am a TOTAL FAILURE in helping miss han to reduce the friction in some ppl, in upholdind our name, HARMONY. the most suitable reason might be my 'sister', whom i trusted for many months, refused to help. damned irritated, frustrated and disappointed??
Then dried my eyes fast.(as i am egoistic) Went back to class with completed tees. but i still got the feeling of bursting into tears anytime. i knew it. then just trying to collect $2.50 from Zheng Hui. damn it. he act as if he's deaf. i shouted and blasted his ears but he was just shuffling cards or watever shit lah.. Am i like transparent?? why can't the class like cooperate?? damn damn damn damn damn. feeling frustrated, irritated, angry, stressed up, undignified, neglected and watever shit, i cried again?? DAMN. i hate myself for that.
Just wanna say, dear class, i dont need u to treat me as a class chair, but treat me as a friend. help, cooperate and watsoever. we should be bonded shouldn't we? actually, i tot on the bus and realised that i cried because i was bu fu, bu gan xin. just can't understand why we were the only one doing all the job, spending all the money.. it's NOT FAIR.. but i can't deny tt the most obvious reason was our un-bonded-ness, our selfishness, patches of friends in our class, or few ppl shoved around like a pin ball. i am sure as while typing this, i can feel the sour-ness in my nose. too much constrast to my pri school. in pri school, i never had to go for recess or lunch alone but now...
sorry everyone for either scaring u, disgusting u, provoking u and watever shit. kind of awkward now in class.. hope we can all try to ease this tension together. i will not change my profile to loving 6B only, i stilll love this dear class of ours. but i hope we can stop being selfish and help..